What a trip! It’s the type of trip that you must type about – the type that’s all hype and no heart.
This palace belonged to legendary Jat warriors, Badan Singh and Suraj Mal of the Kingdom of Bharatpur. The royal brochure advertises: ‘We offer a perfect experience of royalty, right from the hospitality services‘. When we booked, the sales pitch went even higher: “It’s the best suite in the most luxurious palace — so elegant, so much ambience!”
I followed the bell captain, tripping over these weirdly raised whatchamacallits that should be called ‘trippers’. After tripping right into my room, I called the “superb” hospitality services for a Wi-Fi password, only to be told that wi-fi is rather weak and not really viable in any of the rooms!
With no internet access and my now swollen ankle, I hoped to rest and catch up on the news on TV. But, of course, there is no English news channel but the one that repeats the same bit about a Ram Mandir, ad nauseam! So much for hospitality services.
As for the ambience, it’s the kind that has neither comfort nor luxury. I experienced royal pain with the plumbing — which, in keeping with the
palace’s commitment to the authentic warrior experience, offered hot water for exactly a few hours each day. I discovered this, naturally, mid-shower. As a bonus, the faucet handle came off in my hand. I held it for a moment, wondering if this counted as a relic.
The Indian government permits kings to run their palaces commercially rather than collect a privy purse. Thus, all that glitters may only be a whole lot of brass for the top brass here.
On checkout, they handed me a feedback form. I stared at it for a long time. What do you write? ‘Faucet: detachable. Hot water: seasonal. Wi-Fi: theoretical. Ankle: recovering. Overall experience: historically authentic in all the wrong ways? I handed it back blank. Some experiences are beyond the form
…. from Gita’s Chronicles of Chronically Underwhelming Experiences
P.S. If you want to add a little royal charm to your Jaipur stay, take a look at The Royal Hermitage: https://theroyalhermitage.com. Here is my description of our stay there: https://iyer.family/the-royal-hermitage-where-charm-meets-luxury/